Immortality
by LegyLuva
Summary: [Complete with added poem] Elves are immortal, but forever can be a long time especially when you've experienced everything Legolas has. Depressing story but an emotional subject. Please R and R.
1. Authors note

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Authors note

OK, I'm sorry this isn't another chapter being added it's just a note but I felt that I had to add one. 

I would first of all like to thank the people who have already reviewed, as I love to hear what you think of my writing. I would like to thank:

Michelle Frodo- I know you're not a big Legolas fan but thanks for reviewing my stories. I'm sure you can relate to Legolas in some way. 

Arwen Undomiel- I know. I'm sorry for inflicting pain on Legolas and you'll have to read what happens to see if he gets better (but don't get too excited). Sorry :-)

Fianna Took- Not many people expected what happened to happen but I just had to write this. I'm not sure why. 

Orion- I noticed that you reviewed 'Arrow through the heart' as well. Glad you like more than one of my stories. And thank you for both of your very kind reviews. 

Beautiful elf- you are a talented writer and I was honoured that you liked my story. Thank you for your kind review. 

Meghan - Again, thanks for the review. I'm glad that you enjoyed my story. 

tinuviel greenleaf - I love your pen name. Who doesn't like Legolas? Glad you enjoyed my story. 

Shamon- That was a very amusing review. Thank you. You will have to read on to find out what happens but thank you for this very kind and very funny review. I will treasure my gold star forever.

Adrienne-Lillian - I know it's a depressing story but imagine what it would be like to live forever. Thanks for not flaming me hehe. And yes, Legolas is cool (but he looks good too). 

Stary Night- I'm not sure if there are any other things that have led towards Legolas feeling like this. I think that it just all got too much for him when he lost his friend. He thinks that immortality is a curse. Thanks for your review. 

pilot 3001- Glad you get a thrill out of torturing Legolas but please don't hurt him too much?!

Viraten- Ok, sorry I scared. Lol. Hope you liked it though. Thanks for the review. 

Thank you all very much and I am glad that you like this story so far. 

Also I would like to ask anyone who hasn't reviewed to please please please do so. :-)

Secondly, I just want to say that I am sorry for using Legolas in this story. I love him dearly and would hate for this to happen but I used him because everyone knows who he is and can relate to him. I know I have said all this on the following page but I just wanted to re-enforce the point. 

Another thing I would like to add is that I am in no way feeling depressed or suicidal. People who have read this (especially my Mum!) have then turned around and asked if I am feeling ok because of what I wrote. Yes I am. I am fine. I don't know where the idea came from it just struck and for some reason I had to write about it. 

Ok, glad that's sorted now. 

At last I would also like to add that I have written a poem which basically runs through the whole of this story and I have not yet decided whether to post it at the end of this story or as a new story on its own. Anyway, I will decide later. 

I'll let you get on with reading now and am sorry for boring you with this author's note (that's if you're still reading and haven't already gone). Please don't forget to review. And thank you all. 

Loadsa Luv LegyLuva xxx


	2. Grief

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Immortality

Warning: Ok, before you read this story I have to warn you. Legolas will die before the end. I'm sorry. I am a great Legolas lover as you can all guess by the name and as much as I hated to kill him I had to write this story. So don't say I didn't warn you.

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Note: Ok, I know this is a very morbid depressing story but it was just a thought that came into my head one night whilst I was lying in bed. That's where a lot of my ideas strike. I used Legolas in this story because everyone knows who he is and people can relate to him. I do not mean to suggest that Legolas would actually be thinking or doing what I imply in my story and I am sorry if I offend anybody. Hope you like it and don't flame me for using Legolas pleeeaaase. I would also like to add that I am not feeling depressed or suicidal. Many people who have read this story already have said that I sound depressed but I am not. Anyway...

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Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. 

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Summary: Elves are immortal, but being alive forever can be a very long time when you have experienced everything Legolas has. What happens when an elf begins to get fed up of life? They cannot look forward to death to free them from their pain. When you are unhappy, forever can be a long time! 

*~*~*~*~*

The tall slender elf was lay, gazing at the beautiful canopy of the bed. He had been lying there for some time. His cheeks were damp with tears and his eyes painfully sad. By his side lay an untouched glass of water and a small meal which Aragorn had brought for him earlier. It was now cold. 

Legolas' head was a swirl of unanswered questions. One of his closest friends had been killed only a few days before due to a swarm of Orcs attacking the borders of Rivendell. Legolas had felt guilty and confused when he had heard. He should have been there with him. He should have defended him, or at least been by his side in his last few minutes. He hadn't even had the chance to say Goodbye. Legolas felt guilty. 

The Prince was beginning to get annoyed. Why was it that after years of living in this world, he was still not hardened to its cruelness. For almost ten decades he had watched the world go by. Watched the pain and suffering. The death and the war. The hatred and the anguish that each living thing had or felt as some point in their life. He had watched all of this destroy the world around him and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. 

Legolas was fed up. For years he had watched the people he cared about come and go. Elves were immortal. They were supposed to be elegant beings that lived beautiful happy lives forever. But in this world that wasn't the case. How could they do that with so much evil surrounding them?

He wanted to escape. He couldn't sit by and watch this any longer. Forever could be a long time when you didn't want be there. Legolas wanted some control over his life again. He didn't want to wake up and feel sad anymore. He longed for that young feel you had when you were a child. Waking up and looking forward to the day ahead just because you enjoyed the world around you. He knew this would never happen so he had to find a way to escape. He had to get out and gain some control. 

Legolas stood up and walked to the corner of the room. On the wall hung a large rectangular mirror, surrounded by a beautiful golden elvish frame. Legolas looked at himself in the reflective glass. His long blonde hair hung limp and dry, his blue eyes were dull. For what seemed like hours Legolas stood perfectly still staring at his reflection. At last he stirred. 

He walked to where his arrows lay beside his bed and drew one of his knives from its pocket. Slowly he walked back to the mirror examining the silver blade. His turned it over in his hands watching his reflection become distorted on its shiny surface. 

When he reached the mirror he sat down leaning against the wall but so that he could still be seen in the mirror. His mind was a blur. He didn't know what he was doing but he felt different: felt safe and in control. Slowly he drew up the sleeve of his top and looked at the bare flesh on his arm. He picked up his dagger and held it to the naked flesh.

Ok, kind of depressing I know and I really don't know where this idea came from but please review anyway. And be nice. Luv LegyLuva xxx


	3. Out of control

Hi, I was overwhelmed by the response to my first chapter of immortality. I am so glad that everyone liked it so I thought I'd be nice and write you another chapter. Sorry it took me so long but its here at last. Enjoy, read and please don't forget to review. 

*~*~*~*~*

The dagger felt cold. Deathly cold. The edge was sharp and it took no effort to pierce the soft skin. A small cut was caused, which was then made deeper. Blood came spilling from it, running down his arm. He watched as the warm read liquid spilled onto his hand. As it ran down his arm he felt a cool, calming sensation wash over him. He sat, fascinated by the oddly coloured liquid. 

Legolas was in control. This was something he could control and no one else had a say in it. That was because no one else knew. And they wouldn't know. He couldn't tell anybody. They would think he was deranged. But he wasn't. He was in control now. He had felt no pain and no hurt or fear, just the calming sensation it gave him and the blood dripped from the knife. 

Legolas stood up and found a cloth beside his bed. He wet it and wiped the blood from his arm. With the same cloth he also cleaned his knife. After he had finished he pulled his sleeve down again and lay on the bed. 

It was minutes before Legolas was asleep. He drifted off dreaming of swirling red patterns and shining sliver blades. He felt calm and safe but most of all he was in control again. 

*~*~*~*~*

Legolas woke a few hours later feeling refreshed and awake. He found Aragorn sitting but is bed and then he remember what had happened before he fell asleep. He turned in his bed to face the window, away from Aragorn. 

"You haven't touched your food!" Aragorn stated the obvious. He was worried about Legolas. He waited for a reply but when none came he continued. "You have to keep your strength up Legolas. I know you're upset but there is nothing you can do." Aragorn lent forward and touched Legolas arm. Legolas winced and withdrew is quickly. 

"Are you ok?" Aragorn asked, wondering what Legolas could have done to hurt himself. 

"Yes I'm fine." Legolas snapped. "Leave me alone!" 

Aragorn knew that Legolas wanted to be alone and if he didn't want you there is was best to not to be there. He got up quietly and left. 

Legolas lay thinking about what he had done. He didn't remember doing it and he didn't remember the pain, but he did remember the feeling it gave him when he saw that clean red liquid. He also felt guilty. He wasn't sure why but he felt as though he was betraying all of the people around him that cared for him. 

*~*~*~*~*

Throughout the next few weeks Legolas ventured out of his room less and less. Aragorn became very worried about him but guessed that he just needed time alone to think. Legolas became very withdrawn and quiet. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone.

The cut on his arm eventually healed but was only replaced by more cuts. Each one was deeper and more severe than the last. Legolas always made sure that his clothes hid the cuts, as he didn't want anyone to notice them. Part of him wanted this to be kept a secret, for no one to know and judge him by it but there was also part of him that was crying out for someone to notice. For someone to realise what was going on and to stop him. He couldn't stop himself. He felt depressed and sad when he wasn't in front of the mirror. 

Each time he saw the red blood from a newly formed cut he felt as though he has escaped and left the world behind. He was free no one could hurt him anymore. He became unable to short intervals of time without cutting himself. His arms were covered with cuts, new and old. Some had healed to formed scars but only made worse and re-opened later. Legolas often stood looking at himself in the mirror. He hated what he saw. His arms were ugly and full of hideous scars and cuts. He was disgusted with himself yet he couldn't stop what he was doing. It was out of control. 

So you liked it? Yes? no? Whatever you thought please review. I think that there is only one more chapter left. It isn't very long story but something I just felt I had to write. I'll update soon. Loadsa Luv LegyLuva xxx


	4. Set free

I'm here again for with the next chapter at last. I am very sorry that it took me so long but I have been very busy. This has only been a short story but I have enjoyed writing it, to a certain extent, and as this is the final chapter I am quite sad that it is over. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Sorry for the very morbid storyline but it was one of those ideas that just wouldn't' go away. 

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It was late one evening when Legolas came back from a short walk on the grounds. He hadn't been out of his room for days and thought it was time he went for some air. Whilst he was walking he did a lot of thinking. He thought about how out of control his life had become just when he thought he had control over it all. He thought about the evil and suffering there was in the world and how much he hated it. He also thought about life in general and how immortality wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Forever was a long time and that was all Legolas could think about. He didn't want to live forever. He didn't think he could. 

Legolas arrived back at his room feeling better. He had everything sorted out in his head and had decided what he was going to do. He had been thinking about it for some time now but at last he had decided that there was no other choice. He had to do it and that was his final decision. He couldn't stand this any longer.

Legolas had been in this world for many years and he had learnt enough to make him hate being here. He had learnt that no matter how much you loved someone, there would still be a greater power that would eventually take them away from you. No matter how much you loved another you couldn't always help them. You had sit and watch knowing that you couldn't do anything to stop it. Legolas had learnt that eventually, all beauty must die. 

Now that Legolas had everything planned out he felt happier. He knew what he was going to do and felt glad that he would no longer have to watch the cruelness of this world. 

Legolas took a piece of paper and sat on the bed. He planned to write a very long letter to Aragorn saying how sorry he was, but he couldn't find the words. Eventually he wrote down two solitary words in elvish. He then took his knife from the its sheath and took his usual position in front of the mirror. He sat down and the paper fell to his side. 

Legolas wasn't afraid or unsure. He knew what he had to do and he felt glad that he was able to do it. Death was the only thing that could free him from the torture of living and he wasn't scared of what was to come. 

Legolas held the blade up to his wrist. He glimpsed the distorted reflection of his face as the light caught the blade. The red pattern from the ceiling shone bright behind him. He gripped the handle tightly and slowly, pressing it against his wrist, he drew it towards him. He watched the blood flow quickly over his hands. After a few seconds he took the knife in his blood covered hand and repeated the process on his other wrist. He let the knife fall to the floor. 

The Prince sat with his back against the wall. He could see the blood flowing freely down his hands and onto the floor yet he couldn't feel the pain. He never realised how much blood it took to keep someone alive. There was small puddle on the floor yet it still kept coming. The cage it had been kept in was broken and it could now be set free. 

It wasn't long before Legolas was beginning to feel very tired. His head fell backwards and rested on the wall. His hands dropped into his lap. The room was beginning to look blurred and the bed was swirling past him. His head was light yet he felt alive and well. He couldn't feel the pain. 

Legolas' limp body slid into the corner. He could barely keep his eyes open but he had a small smile on his face. 

The door of the room opened as his eyes blinked for the last time. Legolas took his last breath as Aragorn came into the room. But it was too late. Legolas had got what he wanted and there was nothing anyone could do now. Legolas was free. 

Aragorn rushed to Legolas side and found the piece of paper lying next to him. He knew he was too late. He picked up the paper and read the two words which sat alone in the centre:

'_I'm sorry'._

So, there it was, the final chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please tell me what you think in a review. I love to hear what you all thought. I am sorry that I had to do that Legolas but, as I said at the beginning, it was one of those ideas that wouldn't go away. Anyway, thanks to all who have reviewed so far. They do mean a lot to me. 

As I final note I would like to add that I have also written a poem telling this story of, well, this story. I will be putting this up in a week or so. Hope you will come back to read that. Bye for now. Loadsa Luv LegyLuva xxx


	5. Poem

So my story has finished now but I thought I'd add this little poem I wrote. It basically just sums up the whole story in verse. Hope you like it. 

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Immortality

I have been around

Seen many years,

I have also cried 

Countless tears,

Tears of anger,

Tears of sorrow,

And where I am

Pain seems to follow.

I have sat and watched

the world go round,

And as immortality holds me

I am bound,

To sit here

For eternity,

Though happy

I will never be. 

I have fought in wars

Experienced death,

And I feel as though

there is nothing left

Inside of me

wanting to live

In a world 

that has nothing to give.

I want to end

it all right now

Though deep inside

I do not know how

How to face

the world again

Until I have freed it

From all this pain.

I take me knife

I see the blood

Flowing painfully

If only it would.

It falls from my wrist

And onto my hand

It's only now

that I understand.

Understand

This world of pain

Yet I know

There are none to blame.

Forever is 

a long long time

Especially when

You've died inside. 

My blood falls

onto the floor.

I have lost lots

Yet there is still more

Immortal blood

freed from my vein

Yet I no longer

Feel the pain.

At long last

I can be free.

Free from this curse

inside of me.

No one can hurt me

Anymore,

As I lie here

Upon the floor.

I see the world

has turned to black.

And I know I will

Not come back.

I had no choice

I had to leave

So please my friends

do not grieve.

Our body-

it's our cage

It dies a little

each and every age

But you're not really 

truly dead,

Until it's your soul

that died instead. 

Did you like it? That's the end of Immortality now so please leave me one final review. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. They have made me very happy. 

Loadsa Luv LegyLuva xxx


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